Red Flags That You are Dating a Narcissist

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”—Malcolm S. Forbes.


One of the red flags to spot a narcissist is when they are only nice to people who they can get something out of. Pay attention to how your dating partner treats other people. If the relationship is new, it may take a little while to begin to make an assessment.


It may seem that they are nice to random people but looking deeper you find that there is something that feel they can get out of the people they are nice to.


If their behavior seems inconsistent then it is time to pay attention. Normal people do not act completely differently from one minute to the next. They do not treat one waitress with sweetness and another with complete rudeness.. Everyone puts on a mask from time to time and may be nice to their boss who they dislike.


It is normal for someone to be nice to a customer who they need to please for work. It is normal for you to be nice to certain people that you do not like, because it is part of your job. But it is not normal to be nice to one person and then be very mean to another person.


A Narcissists might comment that the woman walking down the street "looks like a slut in that dress". Then they are nice to someone else wearing the same exact dress. The second person is a coworker of theirs that is recommending them for a raise to the boss.


All of a sudden you hear him complement the dress to her. When you question him as to why he thought the dress looked slutty on the stranger and not on the coworker, he swears it is not the same dress. It looked nothing the same. The first one was slutty looking.


Why would someone insult the waitress and call her stupid one minute and then turn around and complement your coworker who gossips behind your back? They have some potential to get something out of that coworker. They can use the relationship against you in the future.


Why would anyone you are dating be nice to your sister who always overshadows you or your neighbor lady who flirts with them? It is rude and inappropriate. It puts you in an uncomfortable situation. It lowers your feeling of value and drops your self esteem.


Why can't he just be patient with the waitress who makes a mistake? He criticizes her and makes her feel dumb. Then he tells you that he did it for you.


He wanted you to have a perfect dinner and the dumb waitress has now ruined the date for both of you. You tell him that you did not mind that the waitress had to go back for the other kind of bread.It was not that big of a deal. You tell him that the date is not ruined and you would be happy to go back to having a nice dinner.


He is not satisfied. The waitress ruined his dinner and yours. The date is ruined. Why can't he get good service anywhere. He embarrasses you. You ask him to calm down and that if he cares about the date going well, as he has to do is calm down.


No. There is no going back now. He wanted everything to be perfect for you even if it means embarrassing you in the restaurant. If he actually cared about your feelings then why did he continue the behavior that you told him was bothering you? Why did he decide the date was ruined when you would have been happier to go back to enjoying the date with him?


Examples of people a narcissist would be nice to


1. His mechanic


2. Relatives that might give them money in the future


3. People at work who help them to get ahead


4. Anyone they might want to have sex with them in the future


5. People that can financially benefit them


6. People who can advance their social status


7. People who work with them to manipulate others


8. Customers of their business who they feel will be giving them money


9. Co-workers who can help them get ahead at work


10. Anyone who they want to keep on the back burner for some benefit in the future


11. His barber (if he always fits him in when he calls)


12. His accountant (if he is good)


13. Beautiful women , only of they show some interest in him


14. People they can use against you such as coworkers that you do not get along with or your boss who is nasty to you.


People they will rude, condescending and inappropriate to


1. Waitresses who make mistakes


2. Friends of yours who do not take their side


3. Family of theirs who cannot financially benefit them


4. Family of yours who do not worship him


5. Anyone who has a different opinion and they have no need for them


6. Anyone who points out their faults


7. People that do not do things exactly the way they want them done


8. Their boss that does not worship them


9. Co-workers who do not make efforts to help them get ahead


10. People who like you better


11. You. Once they have you where they want you


12. You. When you have a different opinion from theirs


11. You. When you think you have a problem that is more important than whatever they are doing.


12. You. When you do anything that they feel overshadows them. Such as get a raise or make more money that they are


13. Your children. When they become a nuisance and are not doing anything the narcissist feels is helpful to them


14. Women. When the women are not worshiping them or showing any interest in him


15. Their mother. When their mother does not baby them and treat them like a prince


16. Your sister. When she just wants to hang out with you alone


17, Your children. When you spend time with them without him


18, Anyone who you spend time with without him


19. Anyone who thinks you are more talented, more intelligent, more resilient or better then him at anything


20. Anyone who tries to help you become more independent or get ahead